Saturday, October 08, 2005


My Relationships




i haf so many tots in my mind nw.. its gd to b single but its betta to b attached. however, i gt attached to the wrong person n he turn my life upside down. im glad i've finalli break up wif him but i hope to break free fr him nw.

im turning 21 soon.. nt tat young anim.. nt much youth left.. no pt for me to hang on to something wif no future. i've been dumb all tis while to dwell on tis rs.. i wana move on now..

i reali miss those days together wif ivan.. he loves me n takes gd care of me.. i nv had to worry abt anyth at all.. my job was jus to study bac den.. i din hafta wrk at all.. he supports me financially too.. if i wan sth, i'll jus tell him n he'll buy for me.. he reali dotes on me v much.. his parents dotes on me too.. i feel so comfortable wif his family n its reali like one whole family..

we had so many happy moments tog.. even thou we quarrel v often, tats bcos he's v possessive of me however, the make-ups moments aft quarrels r jus so sweet.. sm times i will gif in to him n at times, he will gif in to me..

we will watch tv tog until late at nite.. gt once i accompany him watch vcd even thou im v tired n watch until i fell aslp on the sofa den he woke me up n ask me go to the room slp.. nth special but i feel tat moment v special..

when i haf sch the next day, he will wake up earlier den go buy breakfast bac for me, prepare it den wake me up to eat..

once a mth, we will go eat tog wif his family.. n we'll always haf seafood cos all of us loves crabs.. i'll peel the prawns for him while he will kiap food for me..

everything came to an end when i broke up wif him in a fit of anger when i was drunk.. over a lighter... stupid me rite? i rber the whole process v well bcos i regret.. he was a mcp who was v possessive of me.. n being a sagittarian, im sm1 who cant be controlled n needs lotsa freedom..

i was onli 18 bac den n i felt he was controlling too much n i cant stand it.. thus i broke up wif him under the influence of alcohol.. we had a major quarrel n tats the end.. i still rber his expression when he asked me if im reali serious abt breakin up.. being stubborn me, i said yes n tats the end.. cos i felt i shldn let him control my life n i felt i will be able to meet some1 betta but i was wrong..

nw as i tink bac, i felt v silly of me to leave sm1 who is so sincere n truthful to me.. he's oso v faithful to me n we knw each other's whereabouts v well.. alot of places share our memories.. i reali miss him.. n his family members as well.. we r jus lik a family.. his mum even acknowledge me as her daughter-in-law liao.. we plan to get married when i graduate.. but its all over nw..

nw tat im 21 n as i tink bac, i can fully understand his possessiveness over me.. he was jus too protective over me n scared tat i will xue huai.. cos im still so young.. but i cant turn bac time nw.. he's gt a gf nw. haiz~

the gal is damn lucky. she has found a gem.

the period of time tog wif me, i've changed him.. a total image n his temper. his temper has bcm so much betta nw.. i spurred him on to continue learnin his driving license.. he gave up aft he failed his final theory b4 he was tog wif me. n i encouraged him to carry on n i went to bbdc tog wif him to enrol n i book all his lessons for him.. within 3 mths, he got his license alrdy. intially our plan was tat he get his license 1st den next time he'll drive me to learn my license.. n he'll sponsor me but b4 all tis happen, we broke up.

i used to tell him tat i lik those kinda car w/o backside n i like the color black. but he prefer those kinda sports car.. we went to c cars b4 n he like subaru impreza.. i tot tats the car he'll get but to my surprise, he gt a honda fit.. in black..

i heard fr his frens tat he was single for a long period of time n he din bother much abt gals.. i wanted to call him but he change his number n we lost contact.. it was thru his sis tat i gt his number but i was silly to tell him abt sth which i shldn..

aft tat thing which i told him of wad happen to me, i heard news tat he gt attached to tat gal.. damnz~~ i shldn haf told him tat at all n prob we wld haf patch up nw.. i reali miss him n i still tink of him every day, every moment.. my tears wld jus drop whenever i tink of the past.. those moments were jus too sweet to forget..

life w/o him was tough.. i had to wrk cos i cant depend on the allowance which my parents gif me.. i went to be a Brand Ambassador wif APB n gotta knw a bastard. he did nt reveal his status to me n i tot he was single.. later, he told me he was separated n he told me soo many stories which r nt true.. come to tink bac, i was v stupid to believe all those unbelievable stories.. it was onli aft some time den i gotta knw tat he is nt separated at all!! wth!! jerk rite?

the amount of lies he told me is enough to write a book.. i cant trust him anim.. its tiring having to tink whether wadeva he say nw is the truth or isit jus another lie. i hate it. tis is nt like a rs at all.. compared to wad i had wif ivan, tis is nt a rs at all..

we dun go out shoppin, we dun watch tv tog, we dun go out eat wif his family b4.. fyi, till nw, i haf completely no idea how his parents look like!! funny rite? where gt couple lidat 1? sm more we tog quite some time liao yet i've nv met his mum b4.. so duhzz rite?

aniw, im reali glad tat im no longer wif him nw.. i need to stop making mistakes onli to regret later.. but its damn sian to see him again.. he's jus so full of shit. loads of crap.. onli knw how to lie.. im jus lik his mistress.. wth~ n i hate it.. im nt those kinda family wreckin gal.. i will nv wan another woman to brk up my family so i wont wana brk up other's families too..

i always tell him to make up his mind of who he wans but he nv gif me an ans. imagine ur bf stayin wif another woman. u like it meh? whoever dun mind is crazy. who will wana share the same guy wif another gal.. siao lor..

he can tell me tat even aft divorce, his wife will continue to stay in the house they bought cos she intend to hide fr her parents n nt let them knw abt their divorce. tis is even crazier rite??!?!? WTH!!! divorce is such a major thing. how can hide fr parents 1?!! even can hide but how long can u hide?!?! crazy.. i will nv believe lor.. siao...

in case u dunno who tis bastard is, he is joseph tan. the guy whose photos appear frequently on my blog. but he will nv ever appear in my blog anim. i hate him. he wreck my life. i jus hope he disappear n vanish on earth. cos such a bastard like him dun deserve to be on tis earth. i hate liars yet he lied again n again to me.. in a rs, trust n truthfulness is very impt yet he betrayed my trust.

he even gt the cheek to say i get bac tog wif him jus to make him buy me an ipod den wana break up wif him aft i gotten the ipod?!?! go to hell lor.. i've always ask him to take bac all the things he bought for me whenever i wana break up but he himself dun wana take it lor.. how dare he say tis of me!! na beh... asshole.. im all ready to pack up all the things he bought for me n return every single item bac to him.. n tat includes clothes as well..

i reali wonder y did God let me meet such a bastard like him.

aniw, everything is over nw. its history. i've nth to miss abt him cos there's no gd memories for me to miss. i onli feel agitated n angry when i tink of him. hw can there b such an incorrigible liar like him? omg~

im starting on my job soon. i will definitely work hard n earn all the zeros!! my aim is to get my own car b4 24. i gif myself 3 yrs to do so. life ahead is gonna be v tough for me.

if onli i m stil wif ivan, i wldn haf to go thru all this shit. i miss him n i reali wan him bac but he gt a gf nw. haizz~~

will sm1 pls teach me how to get him bac?

++ i pray i will get bac to those days wif ivan ++


7:59 PM


aManDa