Friday, September 02, 2005


my tots at tis moment




well, i slept at 8pm+ but jus got woken up by ivy's call asking me if i wana do show tml but my ans is no. im tired of dancing. the exposure is unwanted. i hate ppl lookin at me in a different way n all the dirty old man always wanting to molest me. i jus hate it even thou the money is gd.
i din get selected for silkair. i dunno y. i tot i've ans their scenario qns well since they say tats how they train their stewardess and even asked me if i've reali nv been a stewardess b4. fuck. m i reali supposed to act stupid in front of them? wads wrong wif being smart?

i feel disappointed cos i went all the way till the final round but im nt the kinda person they're lookin for? wth?!~ i reali dunno wad r the qualities they r looking for.

however, i feel stewardess interview is like a driving test to me. u cant give up jus aft u fail the first time. u reali gotta keep tryin cos it reali depends on luck. if the TP likes u, he'll still pass u even if u make alot of mistakes but if the TP jus so c u bu shuang, no matter how gd u r, he'll still fail u. tats the same wif stewardess interview.

being able to rch the final stage goes to show tat i've got no problem wif readin a passage, swimming n uniform fitting. its jus the panel interview tat i failed. i will take note n definitely try again n tis time im gonna act blur n stupid. aftall, tis grp of interviewers dun c the potential in me doesn means the other grp of interviewers feel the same way rite?

gd for those who gt in on their 1st try. kym ng tried 11 times b4 she got selected n so does many many other gals who haf tried on so many times n they r stil trying. y shld i gif up jus aft tis try? its a lesson learnt n i'll definitely take note of it n do betta next time. i dun believe im tat lousy n cant even qualify to be an on air waitress. damnz!~

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i din go for the Far East Org interview today. i feel sick n i dun tink i haf any interest in selling property so i rather not waste my time. however, im gg for riche monde interview tml morning but i dun tink i'll get the job cos im such a lousy drinker. even if i pass the 2 stages of interview, i'll definitely fail the drinking test.

i heard from joseph tat drinking test in inhuman. they'll make u mix n drink all their products n tat includes vodka, whisky, gin, baileys, wine, champagne n not forgettin their signature henessy. reali make u drink so much n get so drunk. how m i supposed to pass lidat? its too insane. furthermore, my parents sure wil nt allow me to be in the liquor trade. how can i come hm drunk everyday? n its so bad for my health n liver.

wad can i do? i reali dunno wad kinda jobs i shld go into. my dream job is stil to be a stewardess cos i reali jus love travelling so much. which job allows u to travel round the world n still get paid for it? u tell me!!! im still gg to try for other airlines n will try until i get it. i dun believe tat im reali tat lousy.

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my pessismistic side of me seems to overcome me these days. i feel sucky n damn moody. i fear loneliness yet i feel lonely most of the times. i dunno wad to do when i wake up. i know tats lotsa things i can do but i jus dun feel like doin. i like bloggin cos its a chance for me to pin down my tots.

i dun call ppl cos i fear tat i might disturb them while in the midst of sth. i feel like learning salsa or hip hop dance. i like dancing but i dunno whr to go abt doin tat. i like acting but dun ask me to join star idol n disgrace myself. its jus a personal interest which i dun tink i'll ever be able to make it a career. i jus like ppl to watch me perform n compliment me aft tat tat i've done well.

im reali lost in my sense of direction of life now. i dunno which way i shld go n wad i shld do. im jus so lost. so many things haf been jammed up in my mind now. i dunno wad to do. i feel like studyin but tat requires $ n i dun haf it. i oso dun wana use my parents money cos they'll old. i wan them to keep the money for their own use.

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i've jus ask don to check out chalet rates for me. joshua cant get it frm singtel. i dunno y. hope don can help me get a gd rate hopefully at aloha loyang. its my 21st bday n i hope all my frens will celebrate it for me. a gd chance to catch up wif every1. im gonna call many ppl. hope they'll come. im gonna set it on my actual day, 25th nov, over the weekend.

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an update for my pageant thingy. i've jus rcv an email on sep schedule. shall let u haf a glimpse of it.

05/09/05(Mon) - Meeting with director of M2B, 6.30pm @ M2B office, Midland House Level 8
06/09/05(Tue) - Press conference by M2B, 9.00am @ M2B office (M2B t-shirt and jeans,self make-up & hair-do, bring along all swimwears)
10/09/05(Sat) - Video Shoot @ Novotel Hotel, time will be confirm later
14/09/05(Wed) - Show @ DXO club, 6.30pm (M2B t-shirt and jeans, own club wear and all swimwears)
23/09/05(Fri) - Show @ DXO club, 6.30pm (M2B t-shirt and jeans, all swimwears)
24/09/05(Sat) - Press conference @ Novotel Hotel, 8.00am( M2B t-shirt and jeans, all swimwears)
27/09/05(Tue) - Function with M2B directors(yet to confirm)
28/09/05-30/09/05(Wed-Fri) - Rehearsal, 7.00-10.00pm

im gonna haf 2 shows at DXO. do come n support me if possible k? ur cheers is definitely gonna help build up my confidence betta. aftall, its gd to know u haf ppl supporting u rite? DXO is at esplanade, the old embassy. 14th is wed, ladies nite. free flow n entry for all ladies.

++ i pray tat don will be able to get a gd rate for the chalet ++


1:56 AM


aManDa