Wednesday, August 03, 2005


mood swings




feel so moody now.. life's so dull n routine.. i need a breakthrough.. i need a fresh start.. argh!!!

went bac office today to return the misc stuff den went dinner wif shirlene at bishan.. bought a pair of flats today... nice nice.. green sequins.. lolzz.. den went to her hse watch zhan shen.. nice nice... hee hee..

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i miss him... i reali do... sobzzz.. he'll always be my love, my regret, my memory.. n he cant be replaced by any1... nt yet has yet been able to replace the place he has in my heart. im constantly thinkg of wat he's doin at tat current moment.. the 1 yr 5mths time i spent wif him were the most well spent of my life.. he brought me up.. bcos of him i got in touch wif lotsa things n learn alot of things as well..

he bared his heart n soul to me.. sincerely treat me wif TLC yet i dun cherish n chose to leave.. wtf m i doin? tats wat i always tot now.. he's such a wonderful guy jus tat he's too possessive but come to tink of it, he's jus worried tat i will mix wif wrong ppl n turn bad.. he cares tats y he asks.. but y din i tink tis way 2 yrs bac..?? if onli some1 had enlighten me on tis, we wouldn haf break up n most probably tokg abt marriage now.. haizzzz

i was too naive bac den to tink tat life w/o him wld be betta n i'll definitely meet sm1 betta than him BUT IM WRONG!!! he's stil the onli guy who treats me the best.. he's the onli 1 who treats me truthfully n sincerely but i din cherish n treasure him... haizzz

i did alot of wrong things in life but breakin up wif him is my ultimate most regret...

why why why??? til nw, i stil dunno y i break up wif him.. it all happens in a state of intoxication anger... wth!!!!! it still makes me sad n wana cry whenever i tink of the past... the happy n sad times we shared... the quarrels n makeups... the rags n riches.. the laughter n tears.. the own world of our own... the everything... all gone... jus bcos of my stubborness n a lighter.. wth... argh!!!! im stil tryin to accept the fact tat everything has bcm history n wil nt come bac..

a fren told me his morale was very low for a long period of time n he remained single cos of me.. yet i din go look for him durin tis period of time n got tog wif another guy instead... BIG MISTAKE!!!!! wth... y do i seems to keep doin the wrong things in life aft brkg up wif him?

got a chance to keep in touch wif him early tis yr yet i go tel him sth tat i shldn say at all!!! wth... ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE!!!!! n now i heard news of him attached!! argh!!!&#*&*^@# wtf... i cant take tis lying down cos she's a bitch!!! a stupid bitch who is not worthy of him at all... i wldn mind if he got tog wif a gd gal but y choose a bitch!?!?!? haiz... y did i not do the things tat i shld do???

i miss him.. i reali do.. life w/o him sucks.. i wan him bac.. i need him.. can sm1 pls teach me how?


3:19 AM


aManDa