Thursday, August 11, 2005


im a bitch bitching a contradicting blog!~




super no mood today. restless. boredz. sianz. haizz~

isit another of my usual moodswings? i duno. i doubt so.

today is 11 Aug 2005. its been 3mths 26 days since my last exam paper of my whole entire life on 15 Apr 2005. Yes! its a damn freakg long 3mths 26days tat i've been slacking! wat m i doin?!


gosh! i tink im stuck in a severe quarterlife crisis. i duno wad i wan n wad i shld do. m i wrong to wana take a break after studying for 17 yrs of my life? sm say yes sm say no. i duno.

i reali dun feel like bloggin cos im stonez n boredz.

my starhub line gt disrupted!!! i cant dial out n worse of all, I CANT SEND SMS!!! freaking hell... i had a $277.57 hp bill dated on 16 Jul. i onli managed to pay $150 on 6 Aug n i stil owe starhub a freaking $127.57.

im pissed. handphone is a necessity these days. its an asset yet a liability. sm more i gt 2 phones. i duno y do i need 2 phones for. i tot it'll lessen my burden but i've gt an extra burden wif an extra phone nw. i've been using 2 phones for a yr nw. i dun care. im nt gonna pay tat $127.57 cos im broke. i'll jus use my singtel line frm nw.

everything in sg is so damn freaking ex. Price tag of everything keeps increasing yet ppl's paycheck doesn increase. wth. I WANA EMIGRATE!!!!!!!!!! i yearn for a peaceful life for my inner soul. Life here is too taxing.

My star sign is Sagittarius and im a typical one. I need lotsa freedom! yes, im glad i've been granted of tis 7 letter word for almost all my life. im straightforward but sm find me too blunt. well, shldn they appreciate my frankness n truthfulness? i speak wats on my mind. im harmless k?

or can i say tat these ppl prefer others to put on a fake front n say onli the nice things ppl wana hear? damnzzz.. STOP BEING SO MORONIC K? y do human being jus loooovvee hearing nice things abt themselves EVEN THOU ITS NT THE TRUTH? stupid! wth..

tats me. i had enuff of ppl telling me tat im too straight forward thus my bluntness tends to hurt other ppl's feelings... DAMNZZZ!! do u tink i care!? i live for myself in my own world. i dun care abt how others look at me so Y SHLD I CARE ABT HOW OTHERS? its NT as if they care abt how i feel either. damnz. bitch!

y m i so stupid to keep sparing a tot for others all tis while n beware nt to hurt others wif my frankness? i onli come to my senses less than half an hr ago. yes. aft readin xiaxue's blog. she mention abt tis n it reali knock me into sm sense.

i've always been caring abt the ppl ard me n most of the time they dun knw cos i care for them sincerely in my heart. i may show it to sm n i may nt. im waiting to be appreciated n loved. i haf feelings but nt many seems to care abt it. well, nvm. who cares abt me?

i've come across so many ppl in my life n 1 thing im sure of myself now is, I HATE POSERS!! yes!! posers = ppl who always try to act as sm1 as they r nt! posers r all over the place! most of the time, they always try to act high class. gosh! pukes!

the 1 big major thing i hate abt posers is kissing left n right when they c a fren. pls lah.. r u a blonde or do u tink u r in europe nw? wake up lah... u r in SINGAPORE lor. jus a HI wil do. save all tat left right thingy when u go to western countries lah.. duhzz.. stupid freaks!

another grp of posers i hate is those who tink they very rich n always enjoy the finest things in life. yes, every1 oso wana enjoy the finest things in life. if u gt the chance to do so, lucky u but pls dun despise the rest of the ppl who cant afford to do so k.

mayb i shld change n be a poser myself. haha.. but i cant bring myself to do it. i feel im too honest le. if i dun like u, i wont talk to u. tats sth i feel i shld change. well, i dunno. seems like im such a procastinator now. wat a bitch!

im stonez nw. i dunno wat to write. i look strong on the outside but im actuali damn weak n vulnerable inside. yes, im daring. i dare to do alot of things but onli to a certain extend. dun ask me eat worms or scorpions. i rather die. im nt tat aventrous. but i often gets misjudged by others. i duno y.

i wana meet all the true n sincere ppl in the world. i need sm gd frens. i feel left out. i feel lonely. im upset. gd things doesn seems to fall upon me. i duno. im contradicting now.

pls let me win toto. i've nv strike 4d or toto or big sweep b4. pls let me strike the next time i buy k. i wana experience the feel of winning. i dun wana b a loser all my life.

gosh! wat m i tokg abt? doesn tally. my minds in a whirl. i duno wat im tokg abt. im tired. im sick of life. wat a pessimist rite? yes i m. so? pls kill me.

i duno wad i like abt myself. which part of me is gd? i dunno. but i guess except me getting fatter n fatter, everything is doin pretty well. at least im nt a poser k. i jus spk wads on my mind? isit a virtue? i tink so. wat abt u? i dun care.

my 21st bday is coming. in 3 mths time. but i duno wad to do. almost every1 gt a big key cake on their 21st bday. its the standard n its all in their photos in frenster. wad abt me? wil i haf 1? i hope so but i doubt so. y? cos i dun tink any1 wil wana celebrate wif me. im sick of hi-byes. life's a poser itself. i guess i might jus hafta celebrate it on my own in a nutshell. wif a lighter i guess n blow it out when the clock strikes 12. pathetic rite? well, tats wat i guess i'll do. n i'll drop a tear aft blowing out the fire. ya, on the lighter. sad~

there r so many things tat i wan nw bt i dun tink any1 wil wana get it for me. ya. poor me rite? aniw, tats me. haiz..~

i need a ipod. tat is to accompany me on my long distances n journeys. i like music yet i hafta live w/o it. sucks. i reali like the pink ipod mini on tat shelf. damn. it cost $348 for a 4G n $438 for a 6G. wth~

i need a digi cam. almost evry1 has 1. at least all those who loves snapping haf at least 1 except me. i haf none. sucks. i reali like the black sony cybershot DSC T7. damn. it cost $799. wth~

i need a new phone. my current one sucks. both r giving me lotsa problems. i hate it when my phone jus shuts down or restart itself. dun they knw its rude n irritating to do so? sucks. i reali like the sony ericsson K750i. damn. i duno how much it cost. wth~

tats all the technology stuff i need. but tats stil tons of stuff i wan. y? cos im a gal. n a bitchy 1. will sm1 pls read my blog n get me any of these for my bday? haiz~ damnz~

pls let me meet the genie n i jus ask for 3 wishes..

1stly, let me haf all the pretty clothes, shoes, bags, accessories, etc lying on the shelves be mine.

2ndly, let me haf all the perfume, makeup, skincare, haircare, bodycare, nailcare so i can haf the best lookg face, hair, body n nails!!

lastly, let me haf all the air tickets to all the different countries in the world wif my name on it!!

damnz.. u tink i duno tat genie onli happens in aladdin? come on, im nt stupid k. i jus hoped to be blessed. tats all.



++i bless myself to bless n be blessed.++


4:32 PM


aManDa